RP so hardcore, it walks OUTSIDE of town

It would be a lie for me to say that I'm an active Role Player, but I still like to RP in my mind. Thinking about my character as more than a 'toon' goes a long way towards deepening the gameplay experience for me. I enjoy considering their motivations, their histories, and the way the world around them would appear to a fellow who wasn't looking at it through a 17 inch CRT monitor. I don't always hold to my character's opinions on things. In character, Sentai thinks Varian Wrynn is a tyrannous bigot, and I've gone into self imposed exile in Dustwallow Marsh. Out of Character however, Stormwind is still my favorite city in terms of layout, so I spend a lot of time there.

As of late, I've greatly enjoyed thinking about my spells from this semi-RPing perspective. I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about my spells as pure mechanics. They are piles of numbers representing casting time, base damage, damage modifiers, and so on. But they do have names, icons, and fancy animations. Rain of fire isn't just an area of effect spell which is channeled over 10 seconds and deals 2-3k non crit damage to every enemy in a 15-yard radius every 2 seconds. It's fucking FIREBALLS falling out of the SKY. So lets dive in shall we?


FIREBALLS FROM THE SKY! (Damn, level 70 numbers, amirite?)

Haunt, as has been made clear in this blog before, is one of my favorite new spells. Based on the fact that it's called haunt, and the way it makes my dots hurt the target more, as well as how it returns to me when it's done, I like to think of haunt as a 'controlled release' of one of the souls imprisoned in my soul shards. My warlock imbues a shadow bolt with this soul, and launches it at the victim. The tormented soul then haunts the body of my target, exacerbating any debilitating ailments their host has, as some kind of blind revenge for their own suffering. They are then forcefully drawn back to me, unwillingly healing their own tormentor.

Corruption corrupts. It rots away the insides of my victims. Premature decomposition--a necrosis, if you will, of the intestines and stomach and so forth. Those afflicted by this spell frequently gush forth liters of bloody vomit--as is depicted on the spell's icon.

Curse of Agony doesn't actually cause any physical damage to the target. It is rather, an affliction of the mind. Over the duration of the spell, it causes the victim to feel exceedingly severe sharp pains, every second or so. The agony the afflicted suffers becomes still more painful with each burst of pain, mounting one on top of another until even the most stoic of warriors is left in the fetal position, weeping.

A soul stone is like a temporary phylactery that can be applied to a living person. I drain the lucky target's soul from their body, and place it in the soul stone, and I replace their soul with one of the souls imprisoned in my soul shards. Given as the soul-sharded soul is bound to my will, I can allow the soul of my friend to remain in command of their body, despite no longer inhabiting it. After the spell runs out, or the body dies, the imprisoned soul--having done his duty--is set free to return to the afterlife, and the Soul Stone crumbles, forcing my friend's soul to return to their body.


You can't tell me RP isn't awesome.

Long before I started playing WoW, I created something called a Blood Mage for Dungeons and Dragons. The idea was that it was a constitution based caster class (constitution being the equivalent of stamina) who took damage every time they cast spells--the more powerful the spell, the more damage they would take. In character, the Blood Mage carried knives, and made cuts on their body. Their own blood then became the reagent for the spell they would cast--and they could keep casting for as long as they had health. Given that bit of history, my masochistic interpretation of Life Tap should come as no surprise. I don't figure life tap is actually a cutting-upon-one's-self thing though, rather I think it's just an immense physical pain--similar to what curse of agony causes--and that suffering is converted into mana.

Damn...writing this post makes me feel like a bad person. Sentai Grehsk is a nice guy! Honest! He's all about peace and love, and he only fights when he believes the cause of world peace will be served by it. Arnoux is pretty mean though...Astien too. They'd be perfectly okay with how horrible these spells are. >:D

Pirate Urination (Arrrgh, pee!)

Silver Hand (US) is my home. I love this server, and I doubt I'll ever seriously consider leaving it. Often, some (truly brilliant) witticism I make in /2 will quickly be followed by one old friend or another responding with "HEY SENTAI!" or some old enemy responding with "FUCK YOU, SCRUB." I sometimes joke that everybody on the server either has me on their friends list or their ignore list by now. Good times.

Silver Hand is also an RP server. And while there were a multitude of factors that led to me rolling there, among them is my long and sordid history of role playing. Be it over a table top or across the endless tubes of the Internet, I've always loved trying on different identities. My thoughts on World of Warcraft RP are--perhaps--a topic for another time, however. Today, I'd like to take a moment to talk about RP descriptions. Terrible ones.

For those who have never attempted to 'immerse themselves in a fantasy role playing environment,' you may perhaps be unaware of the addon FlagRSP. All one must really know is that it allows a person to write a role play description of their character, which other FlagRSP users can see by selecting that player. Naturally on RP servers, it is a somewhat common addon. And as any intelligent person can no doubt guess; many, if not most, of these descriptions are nothing short of cringe-inducing.

And so, without further ado, your humble servant LS submits to you a non-comprehensive satire of Bad-RP-Description Archetypes:

The English Mayger: This guy had a 7th grade reading level when he was in 6th grade, and is convinced he's William fucking Shakespeare. His RP description can be marked by bizarre similes, always referred to as metaphors, and unnecessarily long words, often used improperly (so in those respects, you might say his RP description is very much like this blog.) Frequently his entire persona will change just to give him the opportunity to use a different big word. Rarely will he ever be seen actually RPing, because nobody can match his particular brand of intellectual prowess.

Smugly, the majestic magi Aznorzondicumulese masticates his tongue in his mouth as he observes you gazing upon him. His silken hair, draped elegantly across his elegant shoulders, glides down to the cold hard earth with the grace and elegance of a dove. His heavy-set jaw in clenched in admonition, and his eyes exude the feeling that he will stomach no soilment of his most auspicious honor. Between his long fingers, he spins an elegant crystal disk, which shimmers as though Beelzebub's fury were encased within it.

You win the RP if you're more badass than the other guy: For these people, the only reason they're RPing is so they can impress people by one-upping everyone with imaginary accomplishments they often make up on the spot. Pity them; they only do it due to a lack of any real accomplishments to brag about. Their RP descriptions are marked by excessive length, and the assumption that your character is able to make wild inferences about their past just by looking at them. Additionally, these characters are almost always rude, and will make an insincere attempt to repulse any attempt to talk with them--an attempt which is really just a cry for attention by the player.

You see before you a regal Night Elf. His glowing white-hot eyes glow with an inner fire, that express a deep and profound sadness, along with a memory dating back to the very creation of Azeroth. A deep scar runs down the side of his face--it looks as though it was made by Frostmourne in a three-way-battle between Illidan, Arthas, and him. His arm is marred by the teethmarks of a dragon, could it have been Deathwing? His armor is pitch black, and when you look at it you feel as though you are looking into eternity itself. His flowing cape brushes the ground, and is made by the finest clothiers of Silvermoon--who have interwoven the threads with mithril, making it indestructible. On his back is a sword forged by the breath of Alexstraza (his former lover) and set with magic gems that allow the wielder to sprout magical dragon wings. From his belt hangs a dagger etched with magical runes, and if you look at it you seem to see black rose petals wafting off of it. As you stare at him, he telepathically warns you to stay away.

The Guy who wants you to think he's a girl: Does it mostly for the hot lesbian cyborz. Never plays anything but a Night/Blood Elf, or very occasionally a Human, always female of course. If it's ever discovered that he's a guy, he'll defend himself by saying that he strongly identifies with femininity.

Petite and and cheerful, the bubbly young lady smiles at you when she notices you looking at her. Short and curvaceous, her eyes glitter with a mischievous glint and a dimpled grin never leaves her cheeks. Her dress is modest, though you get the distinct impression that she's not quite aware of her own sexuality yet; as her bountiful bosoms are left to bounce freely with every bounding step she takes.

The Girl who wants you to know she's a girl: Probably either a fat sow whose never had sex due to nobody ever being able to find her genitals*, or (more often) an emotional leech of a girl who will 'confide in you' that she cuts herself within 10 minutes of getting your attention. (If the latter case ever engages in cyb0rz, she will treat it more seriously than most girls would treat losing their virginity to a rapist.)

Shy and reserved, she is usually found sitting in the back of the room, gazing listfully at her hand, and twisting an old wedding ring around her finger. Her simple, long sleeved dress looks to be hand-made, and aside from her ring, the only piece of jewelry she has is a locket draped around her neck, with two small pictures inside.

So beware, WoWrriors! If you ever dare to venture onto an RP server, do so with courage in your heart. For if you venture into the lair of the beast, the beasts that prowl there will soon find you and pester you with their terrible characters! Your best defense is a macro bound to Keystroke #1 that goes "/y LOL RP."

Best of luck, adventurers.

(*Yes, I am a horrible person. I'm comfortable with that.)